Choosing Daddy Part 2

Ok, so the procedure is apparently as follows. First, go into hospital so they can cut into your belly button, inject some purple dye into your fallopian tubes and ensure that the tubes are open! I'm pretty sure my mom never had that procedure...I mean, surely that's an option if insemination doesn't work??? After that, you're put on fertility drugs, then, when you ovulate, you have to go and pick up your sperm from whichever bank you decide to withdraw from and bring said withdrawal to the doctor's office for insemination. Now I don't know about you, but I have a bit of a problem driving around in peak hour traffic with a vial of sperm on the dashboard. That's a bit difficult to explain to the Metro officer pulling you over for a routine check. And God forbid you get into an accident, does Outsurance's Out-and-about cover that?
Outsurance - "Can you please list the items damaged in the accident?"
Me - "Sure...one cellphone, a laptop and external hard-drive and R1000 worth of sperm."
Outsurance- "I'm sorry....repeat that last one?"

With all these questions mulling about in our brains we left the fertility clinic less than reassured about the whole process. However, seeing as how the Cryobank was just up the road, we thought we'd pop in and see what options were available to  two self-respecting Lesbians. Apparently not a hell of a lot!
Ok, so the four options include a Lawyer, a Psychologist, a Scientist and a small business owner which could mean he runs a boerewors stand on Malibongwe drive for all we know. They range from basketball player size to midget and have a range of features from green eyes to wavy blonde hair. Most parents take it for granted that their kids will inherit some of their features, so suffice it to say we tend to look at donors who have similar looks to ours, I mean it's gonna be difficult enough explaining it's parental origins to the future sprog without having to explain why he/she has bright red hair, is seven feet tall and is Outer Mongolian! So we finally decide on the 1,9m tall, dark haired psychology dude with green eyes and medium complexion, hoping that the result would be a vaguely intelligent, medium sized kid who looks a little like both of us!

Now, for those who don't know, sperm is sold by the straw. Odd I know considering that the only other thing sold in a straw is Sherbert and at least that one only costs R5 and you can use it afterwards for your coke....a-cola. Anyway....according to the elderly gentleman in charge (I'm pretty sure he moonlights as Santa at Cresta!) you need two straws per insem and you need to load up over two days....so that's four straws of man juice! But, wait, there's more...before they inseminate, you have to have this mother of an injection into your stomach to ensure that the egg drops into the allocated slot. Once again...I'm pretty sure my mother never did this! 

The upside of this rather scary visit was finding out that we could actually do the whole procedure there instead of going through the middleman (kind of like finding out you don't need an insurance agent, you can go direct and save thousands!). Kinda makes me wish there was an insemination Hippo.......

To be continued.......