Sproglet shows his face

I think its unfair to be left alone in your Gynae's office when she has one of those operating game-type models of the uterus lying on the desk. All I wanna do is play with it, but the wife won't let me because she reckons I'll put the Cervix where the Fallopian should be and vice versa. Mind you, she's probably right...
We're waiting to do our first scan and wifey and I were ready to go and bouncing off the walls about six hours before the scheduled appointment. Not that we're excited or anything!!
Our appointment was for 10.15, so we arrived a rather respectable 45 min early only to be told that the appointment was for 11.45!!!
Now please note that I'm not blaming Kris for this mix-up (at this point blaming Kris for anything is tantamount to signing my own death warrant, loading the gun and pulling the trigger myself, and I'm not that stupid!), so after some stern words to the receptionist we get bumped up the very long waiting list and finally get shown into the office with the aforementioned Uterus game.

By the time the Gynae decides to join us, I have named every angel in the office (there were 18! Who has 18 angel figurines in their doctors chambers??!), re-organised her pens according to colour, length and amount of ink left and shoved two prescription pads down the back of my pants. Ok, so I'm lying about the last one, but let me tell you, it would have been really easy to do if I was a druggie type person!

Finally we get taken to the room with the ultrasound machine and still no stirrups (I don't think I'm ever getting to see these legendary marvels of modern medicine!). Gynae decides that an internal scan is the way to go and bypasses the big recording mic-looking device and reaches for the one that looks a bit like an electric toothbrush minus the bristles. Being the self-respecting Lesbine that I am, it's been a while since I've done the whole condom thing, but let me tell you, this chick is a pro. She has that little jiffy bag open and stretched over the Oral B gadget so fast, I reckon prostitutes would pay for classes!
Next on the agenda is enough lube to run a John Deere tractor engine for a couple of years and before we know it, she's digging around inside the wife with all the care of a jack-hammer operator.
The images start appearing on the little monitor and I keep expecting to hear "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" because all I see are images of the lunar landscape, but then she stops and I have a perfect shot of a little Mexican jumping bean with a perfect head and little stumps which will hopefully grow into arms and legs!
It was rather strange that at this exact moment some tiny little insect or other decided to fly into my eye, because it started watering the minute I saw the little bean (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)